Mirror rirroM – Three

STOP! Did you miss chapter two? Check it out here.


The weekend came and went; Seth was happy to get back to school and get a break from work.  He had made more than enough money for the moped; they had been busier than expected.  The last thing that he wanted to do was look at another slab of cheese and dough, luckily, he had most of the week off.  At school, Seth met up with his two best friends Chris Fitch and Brian Lee.

“Where you been all weekend bro, we didn’t hear a peep from you?” Chris asked.

“Just working, it was a rough weekend, nothing but flour and dough up to my elbows.” Seth answered.  “What did you guys do?”

Brian took this one, “Just wait until you hear, we went to the midnight showing of Star Trek.  You should have seen some of the costumes these fools were wearing.”

“These fools?” Seth answered, “You guys were there too, you know.”

“Well…yeah” Brian said, “but we didn’t have costumes or anything, so it was different.”

“Yeah, and you should have seen some of the chicks in there tight Trekkie uni’s…real nice I say!” Chris added.

“And there you two were, standing there staring at ‘em the whole time I bet,” Seth laughed, “They probably thought you guys were on a date!”

“No way, you’re crazy Seth.” Chris said.

“I bet you even shared popcorn, oh that’s funny.” Seth joked.

“So…popcorn is stupid expensive at the mall.” Brian said defensively.

“Wait, you really did share popcorn, you guys are ridiculous, that’s awesome.” Seth was really laughing hard now.

The warning bell sounded, and the trio started to go their separate ways.

“Hey, I’ll come by and see you guys after school, I’m going to get that moped this afternoon!” Seth called out as he backed away towards home room.

“Nice! See you later, man” Chris called back.

Seth hustled off to history class hoping to see Jessica; maybe break the ice with a “What happened to you this weekend” type of line.  Only, she wasn’t in class again that day.  Strange, he thought to himself, maybe she really came down with something bad.  He overheard her friends talking in the corner of the classroom.

“No, I didn’t talk to her all weekend, did you?” he heard one of them say.

“I called her house, her mom said that she hasn’t been around all weekend, and if I see her to give them a call.  She didn’t even know where she was, and she sounded worried.” Another one said.

“Well that’s strange, why would she just disappear like that?”.

Seth had heard enough, his intuitions were apparently right, something really was up with her. Did she run off with some guy? Seth had never heard her talking about a boyfriend or anything before.  Just then he heard something from the corner that really caught his attention.

“My dad said that the cops were at her house, like all Sunday morning!” one of the girls said.

Wait a minute Seth thought, the cops now this could be something serious.  Is she in jail, a runaway, kidnapped?  Seth’s imagination was starting to run away on him a little bit.  Wait, wait, slow it down here he thought, I’m just jumping to conclusions here.  It’s probably nothing, something totally unrelated I bet.  Seth tried to put it out of his mind for now, but between thinking about Jessica, and his soon to be moped, the day dragged.  

“Slowest day, ever!” Seth said to his buddy Chris in passing.

“Tell me about it!” Chris answered.  Apparently, he was having a long day himself.

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Everything Bagels

The Least Minimalist Food Ever

The description alone screams maximal and a haughty claim it is, “Everything Bagel”.  As if this one item could be the answer to all of our dreams and desires. Would you like a glass of orange juice?  No thanks, I already have EVERYTHING that I could ever need.

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I ordered an everything bagel and the kid at the counter asked what I would like on it.  I was like what’s left to put on it? It already has everything!

I am such a fraud – I regularly enjoy everything bagels AND I even put toppings on it, sometimes cream cheese, sometimes peanut butter, sometimes regular butter.  I even toast the bagel, it’s an everything bagel; plus; plus. Everything plus, is that even possible? How dare I call myself a minimalist, sure a warm toasted bagel with my coffee could lead to a hygge moment, but minimal?  Nay.

From here on forth only plain or single ingredient bagels will be allowed to be consumed by anyone who has the audacity to call themselves minimalists.  Plain is good, Onion is fine, Cinnamon Raisin…that’s two ingredients and therefore, no sir not allowed. The same goes for the most popular bagel topping, cream cheese.  Original or one flavor only, there is a standard to uphold here!

Everything bagels…pffffttt…I dare say how dare they!

This was written in jest – everything bagels are delicious.

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Cable Has Been Cut

An Unrelated to Anything Else Ramble

I dare say that we are a generation, possibly two away from a generation of kids that won’t know what cable was.

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As hard as that may be to imagine, I am sure that at some point it was unthinkable to conceive of generations not knowing what an eight track or cassette was.  As the cassette industry was forgotten, so went the Walkman. Records were nearly a thing of the past until this latest resurgence, and CDs are on their way out and closely following them are DVDs for sure thanks to the likes of Netflix, Amazon and other streaming movie services.  Not to mention Beta…beta…betamax? I don’t even know if that is right. Well betamax lost a war to VHS…oh yeah, that’s gone too! And never forget the short lived Laser Disc  

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Landlines are something that many kids are no longer aware of anymore as is life before the internet, social media, video games and cell phones. Millennials may recall life before social media, but “Gen Z” is so confused by this article that it’s laughable.  GPS is a staple in new drivers lives now, hand a new driver a map and they are likely to wrinkle their forehead in confusion as they try to figure it out.  I dare say that stand alone GPS systems will be a thing of the past in the not too distant future, after all, it is standard on any new cell phone. Speaking of cell phones, they have virtually eliminated the not so old Ipod and dedicated music storage and streaming device industry.  

Now I don’t imagine that stand alone camera’s are going away quite yet, but I see them being owned solely by folks in the photography business.  Camera film on the other hand is going, going, gone, with the exception of the “vintage” albeit short return of Polaroid.

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Thanks to Post Malone, we have recently discovered that Ozzy Osbourne was someone that was virtually non-existent in today’s youth as crazy as that sounds.  Name a band or entertainer from before the turn of the century and there is a 50/50 shot that anyone under the age of…gulp… 20 will know who it is…yikes.  If you stop for a drink on the way home, there is a good chance the kid next to you sipping his, limited release, locally brewed, cherry tinged, craft IPA won’t know who the Doors are let alone who Jim Morrison was.

A bit of a mind blower is cursive writing.  It is no longer taught. There is a good chance that cursive writing will fade away.  How are the future generations going to sign their name onto anything? Hand in hand with learning to write cursive is learning to read cursive writing.  If I want to keep a secret from my oldest son, I can just write a note to my wife in cursive and he is stumped. We are looking to remedy this ourselves.

But cable?  Can it be so?  I myself cut cable many moons ago, but thanks to my parents my children are still in the know about it.  Will their kids know about it? I doubt it.

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4 a.m.

A few weeks ago, I opened up a blank Google document…and this fell out.

I don’t know anything worse than being jolted awake at four o’clock in the morning by an absurdly loud and incessant alarm clock.  Well, maybe I know a couple things that are worse than that, but at four o’clock in the morning I will be damned if I can think of anything worse.  You would think that in the times of iPhones, virtual reality and flexible LED screens we would find a better way to signal to our body that it is time to get up and get going.  Actually, I am willing to bet there is a hundred products out there that claim to do just what I am talking about, but who has time to find and try them out? Certainly not the people that are using alarm clocks to get up at four o’clock in the morning that’s for sure.  We are so damn busy that we can’t even wait until a decent hour to rise and shine. You know who the real villain is, the people that decided that they want to run a business that starts operating before the sun comes up, before the shine part of rise and shine actually happens, that’s who.  Sure, when you’re in the coffee hawking business I guess it makes sense to start early, but what about all those people stumbling in when we unlock the doors with one eye still closed begging for a cup of the high octane like Oliver Twist asking for another bowl. They aren’t selling liquid cocaine, they are selling things like tires, knick-knacks, suit jackets and cable subscriptions.  Who am I kidding, nobody subscribes to cable anymore, not in this streaming, instant gratification, I want my money and I want it now society. I want really good movies and shows to be available for watching when I damn well feel like watching them, and I don’t just want one or two episodes I want the whole season at my fingertips. Then every other week there better be another season available for me to watch, you want me to wait a whole year for another eight or ten or thirteen episodes?  That’s downright un-American I say.

Jesus, how long have I been in the shower?  Sometimes my mind just wanders you know, I’m not sure that my brain realized that I got up.  Did I get up? Am I still sleeping? Please don’t tell me that I have to live through my alarm clo… BRRRT BRRRT BRRRT. 

“FUCK!  I hate my life.”

As I rinse and repeat the morning shower routine, that I already lived through once this morning, I can’t shake a couple lines from the Twenty One Pilots song “Stressed Out” out of my head, “Used to dream of outer space, but now they’re laughing at our face singing wake up, you need to make money!” This seems to be an accurate mantra to start my day with. I can’t for the life of me, remember the line before or after that though, isn’t that how it always goes, just enough of a song to stick in your head but not enough of it to keep it from being mind-numbingly annoying.  I turn off the water and stand in the steam for another minute and take a deep breath.

“Well, I guess.”

As well as resorting to mantras to get me through the day, I’ve also taken to talking out loud to myself lately.  I’m not crazy, I only do it when no one is around to hear me doing it. Maybe I should get a dog or something then it would look like I was just talking to them, that wouldn’t seem as unusual I think.  You know, on the off chance that someone snuck into my house to observe me in my natural habitat and caught my solo conversations, they would just be like, “he has a dog and I can only assume he is talking to his dog, perfectly normal”.

Today feels different, it’s not but it feels like it could be.  I mean, every day is different but they are all the same as well.  Not deja-vu the same, but more or less similar. I am wearing the same color khakis and blue shirt that I always wear to work. I am going through the same morning routine that I always go through, hence the term routine.  I take the same path to work as I have been taking for the past five or six months, at the same time that I always do plus or minus a minute or two depending on how far my mind wanders during my morning shower. I inhale a deep, crisp breath of fresh air through my nose and it’s almost cold enough to give me a headache, but that’s nothing new.  Yet, there is something else there, paranoia, premonition, foresight, who knows. Call it what you want, I call it “another day another dollar” and remind myself, “I get paid by the hour.” Well would you look at that, another out loud solo conversation, and two more mantras all rolled up into one.  I’m really on a roll today.

Segues & Excerpts

I like to write.  Just in general, I enjoy the process of writing.  I even enjoy the sound of the keys tapping on my tiny little Chromebook.  Taking what is in my mind and trying to articulate it into a web of words that is appealing to the eye is an endless source of satisfaction for me.

While writing about my daily life is satisfying, occasionally I get an itch to write something completely different, typically a fictional short story or essay.  I have even completed a full length fiction novel, unpublished but written.  

I will occasionally post these random stories and essays here for everyone’s reading pleasure.  Perhaps even a few chapters from my book will find there way here as well, who knows.