Everything Bagels

The Least Minimalist Food Ever

The description alone screams maximal and a haughty claim it is, “Everything Bagel”.  As if this one item could be the answer to all of our dreams and desires. Would you like a glass of orange juice?  No thanks, I already have EVERYTHING that I could ever need.

Photo by Trang Doan on Pexels.com

I ordered an everything bagel and the kid at the counter asked what I would like on it.  I was like what’s left to put on it? It already has everything!

I am such a fraud – I regularly enjoy everything bagels AND I even put toppings on it, sometimes cream cheese, sometimes peanut butter, sometimes regular butter.  I even toast the bagel, it’s an everything bagel; plus; plus. Everything plus, is that even possible? How dare I call myself a minimalist, sure a warm toasted bagel with my coffee could lead to a hygge moment, but minimal?  Nay.

From here on forth only plain or single ingredient bagels will be allowed to be consumed by anyone who has the audacity to call themselves minimalists.  Plain is good, Onion is fine, Cinnamon Raisin…that’s two ingredients and therefore, no sir not allowed. The same goes for the most popular bagel topping, cream cheese.  Original or one flavor only, there is a standard to uphold here!

Everything bagels…pffffttt…I dare say how dare they!

This was written in jest – everything bagels are delicious.

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